Ever have a week where you wish you could climb into a DeLorean, erase what happened, and have a do over? Such was my week. That blessed, glorious week where I was going to make sure that my “have to”s were not my only focus and that I allowed myself time for my “want to”s? Well, not a whole lot of “have to”s got done, but neither did any “want to”s. The only thing I managed to accomplish was coming down with Preschool Plague of Summer 2011 on the eve of July 4 (if I were to actually keep up with this blogging thing, you wouldn’t be scratching your head, wondering how I caught Preschool Plague; you’d know that I am working with preschoolers two days a week now). You know how you often wish you could afford the luxury of staying in your PJs and watching TV in bed all day? The novelty wears off well before the fourth day. And while I admit that there are times I am so wrapped up in my writing that I don’t leave the house for a week, not feeling able to leave the house for a week suddenly gave me some sort of recluse phobia. But the intention of this post is not to complain (thank you, though, for letting me do so), nor is it to apologize for not fulfilling my promise of verbal vomit (though I am sorry, especially to Cate who was sweet enough to say she was looking forward to it); being too sick to do any of the things I had previously put off and said I was going to accomplish last week taught me a valuable lesson.
Not being able to recapture the time that I lost, it’s finally starting to sink in how important it is to follow my new rule to get out of this terrible habit I developed over the last year or so of denying myself, on a daily basis, personally fulfilling activities until I catch up on all that “has” to be done. First of all, my list of “have to do”s is way too long, and thinking that I’ll ever be caught up on it is unrealistic. Hubby often asks me, “What do you have planned for the weekend?” to which I usually respond, “Well, I’d really like to write, maybe scrapbook, and I haven’t even looked at that free online course that I was so excited to get into; but I have to do X, Y, and Z” (where X, Y, and Z are not things that truly have to be done in order for bills to get paid or for life to go on). Before I know it, the entire weekend has passed me by, and I have not allowed myself a single moment of pure enjoyment (with the exception of Sunday nights because True Blood is nonnegotiable: if you catch on fire between 9 and 10, don’t count on me to put you out). According to this interesting read that I just happened upon this morning (talk about timeliness), this behavior is not fair to “Future Me,” not to mention Future Me might – oh, I don’t know – wind up in bed for a week with PRESCHOOL PLAGUE! Today Me needs to start being more considerate of Future Me. I wouldn’t tell Hubby that I couldn’t go out to dinner with him over the weekend because I know that when Monday rolls around, along with all the busyness it brings, Future Him will be disappointed that we didn’t take advantage of the downtime and spend it together. Like so many other people, I will go out of my way not to disappoint others, but don’t think anything of doing – or refraining from doing – something that will cause disappointment for myself.
Today Me, meet Future Me. Future Me just came home from seeing the final Harry Potter movie (sniff) and is enjoying a cup of hot tea while traveling the blogosphere. Future Me is-a-gonna be a ball of anger if she sees not a single blog entry posted after today’s. You know what would make her happy? Seeing at least two more blog posts. Future Me is counting on you not to let her down.
as a late Set It Sunday.